Tag Archives: Musings

Random Update

10 Nov

I’ve randomly thought of myself making this post and trying to explain exactly why I  have not been updating this blog. And yes, I know, I could come up with all forms of excuses right now, but I wont. Matter of fact, I do not think I will ever put up excuses on this blog. But rather, I will, (when I do) tell the truth about everything.

Now its been a crazy two months or something. I had a magazine coming out, had my first DSLR coming through, but that did not happen. I had the money alright, I had everything all planned out and boy, was I all excited. there’s nothing as better as that. nothing that I had waited so much for so long as that. but, you know, as LIFE would turn out. in the twists of events, that money just, well, disappeared. in the most hurtful of ways. I want to tell, but, in all honesty, I don’t think I have the strength to.

In a nut shell, that really ruined my creative process. yeah, its been a while before I finally bounced back. I went through these moments of  feeling really bad about everything. you see, its different, I had waited for this moment since last year. saved, work hard just to achieve this one thing. a DSLR camera. but what happens after you think you’ve finally gotten the cash? it disappears. Boy,you have no idea how that may feel.

But I got myself together. or so I think I did. I have been doing a lot of finding myself. And I’m almost getting to that moment where I can do it all over again. I evaluated if I really want this. I found out I do, because within the heart break, there was this bickering glimmer of hope.  It was too existent for me to ignore it. It is such moments I would laugh  to myself just to ease what I was feeling. I think it is easier for people to get over things that they don’t think are such a big deal to them. But this was sort of a big deal to me and I was really looking forward to it. I thank God all the same that whatever happened to me did, because it left me with more lessons than I’ve got before.

So what did it teach me,  probably that is a topic for yet another day, where I should explore those aspects. I’m just finally glad I had the strength to get back to blogging as I did with other stuff.

 

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